that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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