Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
