Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
