of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
