you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
