some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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