Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
