dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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