Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
