After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
