you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
