He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
