tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
