On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
