He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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