He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sponge bath it is.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
