4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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