I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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