i just google imaged poop.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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