He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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