I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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