You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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