evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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