toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
