Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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