Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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