Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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