fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
