this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
