so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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