Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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