The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
