not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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