She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
