that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
