I have demons in me.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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