I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
