You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
