mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
