I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
