"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
