Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
