the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
