She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
