I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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