You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
No stitches, just platelets and will power
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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