i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Small penises have feelings too.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
