batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my vag is so smooth its legendary
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
