she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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