Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
