just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
